Wednesday January 11th

I've always loved the idea of having a journal. A place to scribble down thoughts, write down personal feelings or just document the day. What better New Years resolution than to start a journal (blog). The goal is 356 posts; 1 a day everyday. Shouldn't be too hard...right?

Some things about me, i'm studying my 3rd year of nutrition at an institution that shall remain unnamed, recently celebrated my 20th birthday and I currently live away from home. Expect posts regarding all of those categories.

I guess the main reason I wanted to start a blog is that I've always felt putting thoughts onto paper to be quite cathartic. Just expressing the words in some form gives a small sense of relief. Believe me, I need that sense of relief right now. I in my second semester of 3rd year and I've completely screwed myself over. I didn't take first semester seriously at all and ended up failing 2 of my required courses, putting me on financial probation. I now have to write a letter to financial services describing what happened last semester and how I plan to do things differently this semester. *Sigh* After calculating the grades I need to even attempt to get a spot at a graduate school, it is going to take a lot of work.

Everytime I have a free thought, It always goes back to how I completely messed up the rest of my undergrad. This semester there are 2 courses that I can no longer take having failed the prerequisites, and my upcoming fall semester is already full with both my new required courses and re-taking the two that I failed. It does not help that these courses are only offered in their given semester every year, so although I definitely will be taking some courses in the summer (3 maybe?) to get enough credits to graduate, I won't be able to catch up to the rest of my classmates.

Now about that letter I have to get signed...I haven't written it yet. And I want to get it handed in tomorrow so I can maybe get my osap? Not even sure if I will be able to though, its all kind of confusing. I just can't believe how much I messed up. And in my 3rd year too! I can't afford to mope around and think about the past. Unfortunately whats done is done and there is no way for me to change it now.

I know this turned into a pretty depressing post but it is nice to finally get those feelings out, i've been keeping it all inside and knowing all these extra steps I need to take just brings more and more anxiety.